Grief
Morose
The hour was growing late as I stepped through my front door
My long day at work and the bus ride home
Had put me in a mood which was somewhat sombre.
This mood was reflected in my home as the warm summer sun faded
Long shadows cast across my lounge room floor.
I carelessly tossed my bag onto the dining room table
As I made a hopeless expedition to the fridge
Searching
For something that would resemble dinner.
Met only with bottles of expired milk
Limp grey vegetables
And an aroma that went a long way to quell my desire for eating.
A can of soup did little to improve my black mood
Even less to appease my appetite
Unsated
I retired to my armchair to lift my spirits
With a moment of reading, something light and humorous
A dusty satin steel lamp
Did little to break the spell of the setting sun
The room thrust into deep shadows
De-Saturated of all colour.
Apprehension
Darkness
The sun had set, the hour was late
The lull of the warm sun through my window tricking me into sleep
Now, all about was cold, as was every night.
I stood from my chair, my book which had been resting in my lap
Like a sleeping cat, gave me a fright as it fell to the ground
My hairs stood on end as its plaintive thud broke the stifling silence
My front door stood ajar,
Left this way by Natalie, as she left it every night
Outside the warm summer air
And scent of the Port Wine Magnolia beckoned me
I closed my door to their sirens song
The chill and smell of must enveloping me.
Alone?
At the end of my long corridor
A light
Flickering.
From elsewhere
the
long
drawn out
sound
of a cats mewl.
A sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as its mournful sound seemed to inspire dread.
Alone?
My now shaking hand reached tentatively, caressing the wall
Searching..
The hallway light switch.
An inspiring click followed by hopeful illumination as the globe sprang to life.
Its sudden brilliance hurting my eyes.
A whining noise filled the air, the globe glowing more and more intense.
A sharp crack and darkness as the globe exploded
The element fading like the dying embers of a fire.
The light from the end of the hall seeming more inviting yet even more terrifying.
Memories
A fragrance filled the air.
Vanilla
Musk
Sandalwood
Magnolia
…Natalie.
The smell was pleasant,
Soothing
Within moments it became cloying, filling the air
Until it made it hard to think
My head swam and I was hit by a wave of nausea
Steps
Each one like trekking through mud.
Each one a feat to accomplish.
Each one taking me closer to the light from my bedroom
Not a bright inviting light, but a sick pale light
Which seems to ooze from the doorway
Spilling into the gloomy hall like an infection spreads through the body
A whisper from behind me chilled my blood
“Richard”
In the doorway to the kitchen, a shape
Blacker than the blackness that seems to be drawn to it.
I stumbled backwards
Away from the shape
Towards my bedroom
I reached the doorway and the eerie light faded as I crossed the threshold
Slamming the door shut and fastening the lock.
Alone?
Terror
Darkness
I stood in my room,
Shaking violently
Whether it was from fear
Or that the temperature had dropped sharply
I do not know.
A wet heat on my cheeks as tears spilled from my eyes.
I stood
Frozen
Facing the bedroom door, waiting for something –anything, as I do every night
From behind, a weight on my shoulders, the touch of hands so cold it burnt.
My skin crawled as the air filled with the rank odours of things past
Of something long buried
Natalie..
“Why?”
I cannot answer
An explosion of the same sickly light.
The room was illuminated for the briefest of moments.
Blood stained carpet
Blood stained bed
Blood stained knife
Natalie… “Why?”
Alone
I cannot say why
I lay on the floor wracked with tears
Every night I am alone
Every night I wait for the open door
Every night starts and ends the same
Every night…
Natalie.
